the sinner in me
2009 Resolutions
Keep studying
Be a great boyfriend, and a good son
Be more all-rounded
Stop shrinking and start growing again
Be able to answer to myself
My Second Wind
I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average. I fear being forgotten. The past. Yesterday's news. I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night. I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down. I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset. I fear dying without leaving my mark. I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.
I love my fear.
i am picking up the guitar.
the fallen saint left at 10:13 pm i didn't smile here because i was rudely interrupted halfway through my egg mcmuffin. while i was driving. (i know what you're thinking. don't say.) i stopped my car in the middle of the carpark because i felt i just had to take a photo of this. i wouldn't mind being seen driving one of these vans, seriously. haha.
the fallen saint left at 9:57 pm
i can't wait to hit the gym again tomorrow and on friday. i've been inactive for the past three days and i feel as fit as pud.
the fallen saint left at 10:39 pm
would you be attracted to someone because of his or her flaws?
the fallen saint left at 1:03 am
ran to the old smu and back today. i couldn't finish the last 2 bus stops because my right calf cramped on me. believe me, i tried to run after stretching it a bit, but it just didn't go away. so i ended up finishing the run in 2hr 25mins - not something i'm proud of.
the fallen saint left at 9:01 pm my head's throbbing now and my soles are chafed from the past month of running. my knees are still holding up, but i don't know for how long; maybe those glucosamine pills actually do work.
the fallen saint left at 4:10 pm
i've kept this bottled up for long enough.
the fallen saint left at 10:09 pm
warning: himbo post ahead.
the fallen saint left at 5:46 pm
it's just one of those days when aggression threatens to boil over. it happens quite regularly these days - there's always a peak towards the middle of the week. i wonder if it's in any way related with my training in the gym.
the fallen saint left at 7:00 pm
am i waiting for you to come online?
the fallen saint left at 11:38 pm every night i hear the rev of engines from the roads below, and it is from no ordinary car. it isn't a subaru or evo, the sound is different.
the fallen saint left at 11:34 pm i'm beginning to grasp the enormity of the task i've put before myself - running to hwachong and back was very tiring. there's still a dull pulsating in my legs; i can feel it. or maybe i'm so dehydrated that my mind is playing tricks on me.
the fallen saint left at 1:19 am
when i finally found a pair of AX jeans that i really love and want to buy online, i get slapped in the face with the FAQ on the site stating that the U.S. store only ships within the 48 US states, and then some. likewise for the canadian site.
the fallen saint left at 9:43 pm me: i want to visit venice before it sinks.
the fallen saint left at 8:39 pm saw a murcielago on AYE just now, stuck behind a honda jazz on the right lane. and the rich sod couldn't overtake the jazz because he couldn't manoeuvre out of the jam.
the fallen saint left at 10:43 am
it's cloney's birthday today and i hope she has a smashing 20th!
the fallen saint left at 6:42 pm
thanks twin, for lending your ear last night. it's been such a long time since we sat down and talked about everything under the sun. through the years we have grown apart and gone in different directions, but i still feel this strong bond when i talk to you. it's as though we have an invisible, elastic binding. i guess only you will know how it feels. this is happiness no one can take away. (just return me my sunglasses)
the fallen saint left at 10:59 pm
communicating through written media always appealed conceptually, particularly on instant messaging services like msn. conservative regressives probably would jump up and shout that it is insecure and unsafe because you wouldn't know who you were talking to, and that person could be up to something - but who are you trying to fool? i'm not handing him my life's savings to invest in non-existent market shares or inviting him over to rob me.
the fallen saint left at 10:45 am
whatever.
the fallen saint left at 11:46 pm
Saturday, September 30, 2006
my latest interest
i want to learn to play it.
bought one today, starting lessons on thursday.
looking forward to it very much. (:
breakfast with candice
the silly vainpot was late, and i had to wait for her in the car at the bus stop opposite her place. so anyway i finally caught up with her after two years; somehow i don't think she's changed much since the last time we met. tsk.
she was shutter-happy today. what frightens me is that i think that's her usual self. so i have to say, my camera got put to good use. i'll let the pictures do the talking.
tongues out now!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
excited
i can already feel my skin tingling with anticipation.
Monday, September 25, 2006
question
Sunday, September 24, 2006
oh the sights
but this post isn't supposed to be about the run.. it's about the things i saw along the way today. so let's get started:
1 ferrari 360 spider
1 porsche boxster s
2 porsche carreras
a few mercedes cls
and mini coopers galore
but even those cars aren't the real highlight of my run. guess who i saw today? my ex-classmate's father - mr teo. no, not any mr teo. he happens to be, -coughs-, our country's defence minister.
sometimes, i think running along bukit timah does have its perks after all (:
got to keep pushing
but i can't stop the suffering now. respite only comes after the marathon.
next run: half an hour's time.
Friday, September 22, 2006
shut up no more
this country is known for its tolerance and acceptance of differences - or so we are told. minorities are embraced with the warmth accorded to any other larger groups of people, but this is no invitation for such liberties to be abused and taken advantage of. as part of a majority, i have no problems with working with others from minority groups and co-existing with them, and i accept differences in culture and taste, but there comes a point where the minority groups should remember where they stand in the context of this environment - that they are still a minority group and they should fucking ensure they don't step on the toes of the majority. if you want to survive in the lion's den you sure as hell don't provoke the damn cat.
racial and religious tolerance? yes i have that. i am fine with people of different race and religion, but regardless of skin colour or choice of faith, everyone should know the boundaries of their personal space and the limits of their actions. don't blast your radio when no one else is interested to hear what you're listening to. and know your place in every environment - you are only an individual, not the show.
it pisses me off to see people moving from one place to another, every time seemingly making themselves feel at home in school or at the workplace, when it is so obviously inappropriate.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
splashed
yesterday i got christina, who's studying in cornell now, to help me buy the pair of AX jeans which i was wailing about previously, online. it cost me only US$50! that was enough to get me beaming.
got the levi's redloop today. i am very satisfied with my purchases, although i probably have to survive on home-cooked food until my next payday. lucky for me, i'm pretty handy around the kitchen, so i will still live.
and when i got up from the pool today, i saw that the babe printed on my reef slippers was peeling off. bits of her were disappearing and it was a rather sorry sight. popped into flash'n'splash this afternoon while waiting for adel to arrive, but saw no comparable flipflops as replacements. may be time to switch loyalties to havaianas, lol.
christmas present, anyone? -pokes cloney-
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
here we go again
i'm not going to attempt to curb it though; i quite like how this feels.
Monday, September 18, 2006
i confuse myself
and i wish, one day, i could be down there, in one of such cars, instead of just listening to the sound from above.
it hits you in the face
well done, son, and it's not even half of the final distance that you will cover.
going to crash now. like i told someone, sleep debts have very high interest rates.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
rants
this doesn't make any damn economic sense. i would have bought so much from the website. bloody hell.
haha some more
elaine: why is it sinking? because it's heavy?
haha
so i exited at clementi with a smirk plastered on my face.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
of duplicates
stupid girl with her hockey stick and queer favours..
got cake? haha (:
Monday, September 11, 2006
chatting at mac's into the night
i hope what i told you last night would be of some help, somehow. just remember that i'm a phone call and a few bus stops away. hell, i could literally run over even, now that i'm training for stan chart. lol.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
when you can't see me
the concept of web messaging is appealing because it offers a person the opportunity to become a person he may not be if he was communicating face to face with someone. if you wish to view this in a negative light, it is your loss, because i choose to see this as an outlet of alternative expression; web messaging allows people that few seconds of time whereby their every thought and action can go by unnoticed by the world, and they can assume the personality of someone more unique and flambuoyant, if you would allow me to stretch the ends of the spectrum - you needn't rush your reactions.
this is a media where introverts can become extroverts, where shyness can be left behind because no one has to know who you really are.
but on the telephone line i am anyone,
i am anything i want to be
i could be a supermodel or norman mailer
and you wouldn't know the difference
i could be a caped crusader, or space invader
and you wouldn't know the difference
or would you?- Santa Monica, by Savage Garden i am my alter-ego.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
as usual